More Emmyims. Because 5 year olds say funny stuff.

 

10/14/12

30 mph gust of wind at the zoo
Emmy: "I love that summer breeze!"

10/29/12

Emmy:  It's colder than chipmunks having breakfast.

10/4/12

Mama. Why don't you wear your hat Chadly?
Emmy. Yeah papa... Wear it. You'll look cute!

11/16/12

Mama: what was your favorite part of the play?

Emmy:  the part where Becky kissed Tom Sawyer.  I like all the love.

11/14/12

Mama. (After Emmy and Maggie getting their flu shots): Ok, Em.  Which sticker do you want?  (Pointing) They’ve got batman, spiderman, elmo, dora, mickey....which one?
Emmy.  Batman!

Mama.  Batman?  You don’t even know who he is.
Emmy.  Yeah I do.  You just told me.

11/26/12

Emmy was eating chocolate (1 Three Musketeers and some Hershey Kisses)

Papa:  Emmy, you have a 3 Musketeers and TWO Hershey Kisses?!?

Emmy:  No!  One Musketeer!

11/25/12

Emmy tummy was upset from crying.

Papa:  What does your tummy feel like?

Emmy:  It feels like a bunch of snakes are killing me.

11/7/12

5^th Birthday Interview

What are you going to be when you grow up?

A eucalyptus.

What’s that going to be like?

I don’t know, but I know it’s a job.

What are your favorite toys?

Barbie.  I’m not serious.  Stuffed animals.  That’s true.

Who is your best friend?

Rylee and Logan, Gabby, and the girl that lives at Yellowstone.

What makes you happy?

Spending time with my grandma and grandpa without my parents.

What makes you sad? 

Alone.

When you dream at night what do you dream about?

Scary stuff.

What do you like to do with Papa?

Dates.

What do you like to do with Mama?

Programs.

What’s your favorite color?

Pink.

What’s your favorite book?

Ballerina one.

What does Papa do during the day?

Working.

What does Mama do during the day?

Taking care of people.

What do you do during the day?

Play.

11/30/12

Mama (Annie was laying on Emmy):  She’s a lover.

Emmy (laughed):  Yeah, but she’s really a fighter. (and a minute later) She’s really a fighter...she’s ripping me to pieces!

12/1/12

Emmy:  When I was laughing at Annie my heart almost turned to stone because it was so funny.

12/1/12
Mama (holding Annie):  Oops. Annie stinkied.
Emmy:  Whoa!  You better watch that papa!

12/3/12

Emmy (eating salsa) You don’t like hot sauce mama? You don’t like hot sauce?  You don’t like the big boy stuff?

12/20/12

(At the waterpark).

Emmy:  He’s being mean to me.
Mama. Who?
Emmy:  That man.  He’s 7.

12/23/12

Emmy:  When do you think I’ll be a mom?  Because I’ve been waiting all these years!

12/23/12

Mama: Wanna watch something on tv?
Emmy (playing on papas phone):  No thanks.  I’m already sucked in to this.  And he’s letting me play on it for a long time.  He must love me SO much.
Mama:  He does.  :)

1/12/12

Emmy (talking about when papa asked mama to marry him):  Did you almost say no before you said yes?

1/12/12

Emmy (talking about something she was proud of Maggie for doing):  I’m impressed on Maggie!

1/14/13

Emmy:  Tomatoes are fruits.
Mama:  That's right!  How'd you get to be so smart?
Emmy:  Well, you taught me.  You taught me when I was just little.

1/14/13

Emmy:  Is it ok if Maggie gets to watch Jumanji?
Maggie:  SURE!!!
Mama:  Sure.
Emmy:  (shaking her head and smirking) Little girls!

1/21/13

Emmy:  Do you know the 10 commandments?
Mama:  Do you?
Emmy:  Thou shalt not steal.  Bite. Hit. Growl?


Emmy:  What did Maggie do?
Mama:  Papa pretended to shave her face.
Emmy:  I need to shave my face later.
Mama:  Yeah.  You've got some hairs on your chin!
Emmy: (Rubbing her chin and saying matter-of-factly) I've been eating a lot of hot sauce.

1/22/13

Emmy (watching a cartoon):  Whoa!  Who is THAT guy?  He's a really good actor whoever he is,  because his HEAD is not ON!  

1/23/13

Mama (singing):  Baby, its cold outside.  It’s up to my knees out there.
Emmy (singing):  Baby, its cold outside. I cut my knee out there.

1/27/13

Emmy:  Oh, mama!
Mama:  Yes?
Emmy:  I’m making an expression up.  Its for when you lose something awful and cant find it, you say, 'Oh, mama'!

1/28/13

Emmy.  (Running in from the other room with Maggie)  Mama!
Mama.  What?
Emmy.  Maggie just used the Lord's name in vain!
Mama.  No, she didn't.
Emmy.  How do you know?
Mama.  Because I think you're just trying to get her in trouble.
Emmy.  Oh.  How did you know?

2/3/13

Emmy: I feel sick
Mama:  What’s wrong?
Emmy:  My eyes hurt.  Just like, the tip of my eye.

Maganese. Ramblings of a 2 year old

2/13/12

Maggie:  Papa?  Papa?

Emmy:  Maggie's right!  Where IS papa?

Mama:  He's at a dinner.  He won't be back until you're in bed.

Emmy:  But he's been gone ALL DAY!

Mama:  I know.  We sure do miss him, don't we?

Emmy:  Yep!

6/9/12

Maggie (all the time):  Why, Mama, why?

Mama: Because, Maggie.

Maggie:  Oh.

  

8/27/12

Maggie: You see my BUM?

8/27/12

We were at the Disney Store, and Mags was playing with a set of plastic plates and cups.  Papa was watching her, and Mama was nowhere near.  She accidentally knocked them on the ground.

Maggie (as soon as they fell and she started picking them up): Oh, oh!  I so sawry, mama.  I so sawry.  I sawry, mama.  I so sawry.  

9/25/12

(Her 'nanny' is her much beloved blankie)

Mama, it's my nanny

not sissy's nanny

not baby's nanny

not mama's nanny

not papa's nanny

it's MY nanny!

9/25/12

Maggie asking for something:  Feeeeez, mama?  (pleeeeease, mama)

  

10/31/12

Maggie:  My butt is crying!

11/7/12

Maggie:  I go pee pee.   I need pac-ey.

Mama:  You need privacy?

Maggie:  Yeah.  I need pac-ey.

12/20/12

(At the waterpark)
Mama:  It’s time to go back to our room now.
Maggie.  Just one more hour?

1/4/13

Mags:   Mama, where'd my booger go?
Mama: I don't know Maggie. Where did it go?
Mags:  It's in my mouth!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mama:  Ew.

1/16/13

Maggie (all the time): What's dat?
Mama:  (this time) Chocolate milk
Maggie: Oh. I wuuuv chocolate milk.  I have some?

1/30/13

Mama:  Careful, that’s chunky applesauce!
Maggie: Choke-y applesauce?
Mama:  Kind of.

More Emmyism's

She's full of 'em...

8/14/12

Maggie: Dis?

Mama:  Yeah, that’s mama’s (spider) vein.  Do you have a vein?

Maggie: No.

Emmy:  Yeah, one day you’ll be a woman, Maggie.

Mama:  That’s true.

Emmy:  I’m almost a woman.

 

8/14/12

Emmy:  (exasperated w/ Maggie over them both wanting the same Barbie) Oh, for goodness sakes, Maggie!

8/14/12

Emmy (watching  The land before time 9)

"That was the happiest ending I ever saw"

8/22/12

Mama: (singing to myself) We built this city…

Emmy: (singing back up) Da duh da!

Mama: (laughing/singing) We built this city on rock and roll…

Emmy:  (singing back up) Da duh da DAAAAAAA! (laughing).  I like that song.  It’s made by The Muppets.

8/26/12

Emmy:  (playing) I will rescue your father. It will be a long journey.  It will be a long journey, because my palace is, like...100 percent away.  

9/2/12

Emmy (Massaging my back):  It's like you're at a beach and seagulls are pooping on you and you think it's, like, relaxing. 

9/5/12

Emmy (on the trolley in San Francisco):  Throw your arms in the air, like you just don’t care!

9/10/12

To my Dearest Emery,

Hi sweetie.   We had the best time ever with you in San Francisco.  Will email some pictures to you later.

Received your postcard from Pinnacle when we arrived home.  Thank you.

Paris and Gracie had been staying at Aunt Amy’s while we were on our trip.  They were so happy to see us and to get home.  They kept squirming in our arms.  When we got home from Aunt Amy’s Gracie jumped out the window of our car (Opa had his window down) and ran to the door that leads into the house from the garage and wanted in.  They were so excited to be home!!   Am surprised she didn’t get hurt jumping out of the window. 

I am doing laundry and Opa is fixing bacon and eggs.

It is nice to be home but we miss you so much.  We will see you in December in Florida.

Love,

Oma

(Emmy's response)

Thank you for the email Oma.  I miss you too! 

That was brave of Paris.  I'm glad she did't get hurt.  I'm glad I got to talk to you today.

I had really fun with you in San Francisco.  

Love 

Emmy

9/24/12

Emmy having a looooong conversation with Oma on the phone.  This conversation was completely fabricated.  The events of this conversation never happened.  Emmy’s birthday is in November.

Emmy:  Did you know that my birthday was last week?

Oma:  No.  I didn’t know that.  What did you get for your birthday?

Emmy: I got a new computer.

Oma:  Oh, that sounds nice.  You’ll have to show it to me when I see you in Florida in a couple of months.

Emmy:  I can’t.  It will be in storage by then. 

Oma:  Oh, well, did you get a birthday cake?

Emmy:  Yes.  It was strawberry chocolate!

Oma:  Can you save me piece?

Emmy:  No, I can’t.  Papa already got up in the middle of the night and ate it all.  He ate all the crumbs, too. 

9/ 15/12

Emmy in Hollywood outside Grauman’s Chinese Theater:

Thank you for letting me take a picture with Jack Sparrow and Mrs Swan.

9/16/12

Walking around the San Diego Zoo, we ask Emmy what she knows about camels, and why one of the humps is hanging to the side.

Emmy:  I know everything about camels.  I am an expert on camels and tooth fairies. 

9/23/12

Emmy is listening to the B-I-B-L-E Sunday school song.

“…the red words are the coolest, their the ones that Jesus said…”

Emmy:  WE'VE seen the RED WOODS!!!

9/28/12

Chad (talking quietly to mama in the front seat of  the car while the kids are sucked in it watching Dora in the back):  Somebody needs to kick the shit out of Swiper once and for all.  He's always stealing their stuff.
Emmy (In a condescending tone):  Papa! That isn't a very nice thing to say.

A few mins later....

Chad:  Somebody should tell Swiper that stealing is a sin.
Emmy:  Papa, Swiper isn't real.

9/25/12

My Dearest Emery,

Your mother tells me you and your family will be home in two weeks or less.  I can’t wait to see you!!! I’ve really missed you. 

Also, I can’t wait to see your  new computer.  

Love,

 Oma

Emmys' Response:

Oma,

I don't have a new computer.  I tricked you.  I'm not 5.  I'm still 4.  (smiling the whole time)

I miss you, and I love you.

Love, 

Emery

My Dearest Emery,

Let me tell you a little story.  You are much like your mother.  When your mother was a little girl (maybe about 3 years old) we were at the grocery store and she was sitting in the child’s seat of the shopping cart.  We were going through the checkout and the cashier saw your mother and asked her what her name was.  She replied:  “Dorothy, and I have a dog named Toto”.   So, I know where you get your incredible imagination from.

 You rock girl!!

 Love,

 Oma

9/30/12

Emmy:  I’m FILLED with stinkies.  I STINK!

9/27/12

Mama:  Can I have that phone please?
Emmy: (groaning)  Its always something.
(Mama and papa laughing)
Papa:  You’re something else.
Emmy: I'm not something else. I'm a regular girl!

9/28/12

Chad: (talking quietly to mama in the front seat of the car while the kids are sucked in it watching Dora in the back)  Somebody needs to kick the shit out of Swiper once and for all.
Emmy: (obviously eavesdropping) Paaaaa-pa! (In a condescending tone) That isn't a very nice thing to say.
Chad: Somebody should tell Swiper that stealing is a sin.
Emmy:  Papa, Swiper isn’t real.

9/30/12

Emmy (arriving in Oma and Opa’s neighborhood after 30 hours of driving from Las Vegas):  I can’t wait.  It’s going to be fantastic!

10/1/12

Email from Oma:

So glad you are here!  

Have a cute Emmy story I wanted to share….

Emmy wanted a drink (this was shortly before dinner and, of course, soon after you arrived).  So I went back in the laundry room, opened the refrigerator and showed her what was available for her to drink.  She decided on an orange soda.  I was in the process of explaining to Emmy how she should go in the bathroom and always rinse off the top of any cans…. Blah blah blah.  Then, she started to explain to me the reason….. She said that is because mice can run across the top of the cans and mice carry disease.  OMG, she is a little ME….  This child is perfect in every way…

Response from Chadly:

gag me with a spoon

Response from Oma:

Bess your widdle hawt

10/1/12

Mama:  We're looking for a house around where Oma and Opa live in Greenwood. Would you like that?

Emmy:  Yes.  Like IN their neighborhood?

Mama:  Well, maybe not IN their neighborhood, but nearby.

Emmy:  Why are we not going to live IN their neighborhood?  I don't want to have to get in the car and drive every day to eat breakfast!

10/11/12

Emmy:  It's like we own this house when Oma and Opa's gone.

Papa:   It's like we own this house when Oma and Opa are HERE.

10/11/12

Emmy saw two little old ladies going for a walk.
Emmy:  What are THOSE two up to?

I Left My Heart (Parents) in San Francisco...

Out of all the places we've been and all the places we've seen, San Francisco is the only city we have semi-seriously considered moving to. It is the coolest city inside the US that I have ever been to.  I love walking through Chinatown and Littly Italy and hearing the different languages being spoken.  It felt very foreign, and yet, we didn't have to fly 13 hours to get anywhere.

My parents came out and met us, and I think they fell in love with the city as much as we did.  One could easily spend weeks here (and a serious amount of cash) and not even touch the tip of the iceberg on all this city has going on.  It's fabulous!  

We hit the hop-on/hop-off bus tour of the city, saw some fog...a lot of fog, ate some seriously great food, walked through Pier 39, Fisherman's Wharf, the Market.  Drove Lombard street (the crookedest street in the world), drove through the Golden Gate Park (bigger than Central Park), drove over the Golden Gate Bridge, saw Alcatraz (from a distance) saw the Presidio, Hayes Valley, Haight-Ashbury, Chinatown, North Beach, had a hot fudge brownie Sundae at Ghirradelli Square, had some AMAZING food in Chinatown.

All of this and our campsite overlooked the ocean.  We were 30 feet from an ocean bluff, and had a totally unobstructed view.  A few years back the view would have been obstructed by other RV's from our campsite, but, thanks to some erosion, RV's are no longer permitted to park there...at least it would be a little risky with it falling into the ocean and all.  Not for the faint of heart.  

I was able to look out onto the ocean from our kitchen table, and I truly love the ocean.  The waves.  The serenity.  The sun glistening off of the water in a million different directions.  Very peaceful.  We even had a pelican that visited us often while here.

We have family, ocean views, and wine.  What more could one ask for?  Not much.  Not much at all.  

God's grace has blessed us once again, and He is good.  He is very, very good. 

Californ-I-A

California.  Not what I expect.  Mt. Shasta was a lovely surprise.

TONS, and I do mean TONS of Agriculture, is happening here. Should California 'fall in to the ocean' (as we have all long suspected) :) then our produce will be diminished for a very, very long time. We were camped out near both the 'artichoke capitol of the world' and the 'garlic capital of the world'.  In totally different, though nearby, cities.  We camped ON the San Andrea's fault for two weeks.  Kind of gives you a warm, tingly feeling doesn't it?  We have seen so many variations of crops it's unimaginable.  Really.  We've seen grapes, strawberries, tomatoes, lettuce, limes, cherries, garlic, artichoke, peppers, almonds and many 'random' plants we are still trying to figure out.  We saw Brussell sprouts growing on a stalk...and tried them...much to my dismay...but they were surprisingly delicious with my wonderful husbands preparation of them.  Who knew Brussell sprouts tasted GOOD?  And artichokes.  Weird stuff.  But if you cut it right, and dip it in butter, I suppose anything tastes delicious!  We ARE having fun here though with all of the fresh produce.  Coming from Indiana, if you want fresh local produce are choices are pretty much corn.  Or tomatoes.  Or corn.  Or GREEN tomatoes.  Or a melon. Or corn.  Or tomatoes. Or zucchini, zucchini, zucchini in mass quantities for 5 weeks a year (so much so that you won't WANT any until your crop is ready NEXT year).

California is much different then I imagined.  Monterey was great.  Carmel by the Sea was fabulous!  And the rest...only 50 miles 'inland' is pretty much desert.  We have seen a few bobcats though.  That's pretty cool.  Even a bobcat 'kitten'.  We are starting to like California.  Maybe not so much the time difference, but California is fun.  Different.  Glad to see it, but don't want to stay, fun.

We still have a week or so left here.  I will desperately miss all of the fresh, cheap, and local produce.  I doubt our next stop (Vegas) is growing too many veggies.

Gerber Recalls Machetes Due to Laceration Hazard

If you look at the link it's not nearly as funny...but being a mom, 'Gerber' is a household name...hence the irony here...the title was what struck me as funny on the recall list...and then to see the 'Gerber' item...

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml12/12248.html

Emmyism's

Kids say the darnedest things.  Around the time when Emmy was 2 I started writing down some of her funnies and random tidbits of wisdom (she's wise beyond her years)...she also just so happens to cuss like a sailer, as you'll see.  She must get that from her Opa (grandpa Dick)...that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Here is the list of some of the Emmyism's to date for anyone who could use a couple of laughs today.

Age 2 –

Emmy:  Damn it!

Mama:  We don’t say damn it, Emery!

Emmy:  No.  We don’t say damn it.  I will not say damn it, mama.  We don’t say damn it.  I will not say damn it.  We don’t say damn it, mama…

1-15-11

Emmy:  I’m growing up, but you don’t want me to.

Mama:  No, I don’t.

Emmy:  But I am.  I’m doing it RIGHT NOW!

2/4/11

Mama:  Thank you So much for being YOU, Emmy.

Emmy:  I’m always me, mama.  ALWAYS!

2/10/11

Maggie sneezed.

Mama:  God bless you, Maggie.

Emmy:  She blessed you, Maggie. 

4-2-11 – 

Mama:  What  would you like for breakfast, Emery?

Emmy:  Pancakes!

Mama:  We don’t have pancakes but you can have cereal. 

Emmy:  (quietly says something but I’m not quite sure what)

Mama:  What was that?

Emmy:  (speaking very slowly and clearly) Well. Son. Of. A. B!tch.

5/11 –Maggie, Emmy and I were at the McDonald’s outside playland.  It was one of the first nice days of spring so it was very crowded.  Emmy climbed to the top of the tower and yelled as loud as she could:

Emmy: I LOVE YOU, MAMA!!!!!

Mama:  (by now Emmy has gained the attention of all the other parents in the play area and everyone is watching our conversation)  I love you too, Emmy (said in the quietest voice I could get away with while still have her hear me from the top of the tower)

Emmy:   (still yelling) YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!

Mama:  (heart melting) You’re my best friend, too, Emmy.

5-24-11 – age 3 ½. 

Emmy:  When I was a little girl I had a different mama and her name was James Mill (Jane Mills?).  We didn’t have any food or beds or TV or commercials and then she died, and I missed her dearly, and then you became my mama, and I was sooooooo happy.

6-7-11:

Emmy was playing with her toys and her one baby said to the other baby, "I am your super advisor".

6-8-11:

Mama:  I'm only turning the TV on for just a minute so I can clip Maggie's nails.  Don't get sucked in to watching it.

Emmy (3 minutes later eyes glued to the TV and a dazed look on her face):  Mama, I'm getting sucked in.  

6-15-11

Mama:  Oooooohhhh!  That was BIG thunder, wasn't it?

Emmy:  Yes!  A big one INDEED!

8-15-11

Emmy and I were laying in bed snuggling and I rolled over and turned my back to her.  She’s facing me still and says:  “Roll over, mama.  Roll over.  I want to see your beautiful face”.  

8-22-11

Emmy:  "Sometimes Opa says bad words. 

Mama:  Yeah, sometimes.

Emmy:  Like SH!T!

Mama:  Don't say 'sh!t' emmy.

Emmy:  Or D@MN!

Mama:  Don't say any more bad words, Emmy!

Emmy:  Sometimes I say sh!t or d@mn, too...

8-29-11

I am 7 months pregnant.

Emmy and I were snuggling in bed and she got up.  I threw the covers off of me and started to get up as well.  I was wearing nothing ‘fancy’. 

Emmy:  WHOA!   You’re FANCY!

Mama:  How am I fancy?

Emmy (very heartfelt):  You’re beautiful!

Mama:  I love you SO much!   

9-12-11

Emmy asked me to move something off the couch for her and I acted exasperated when I did…so she looked at me and said "Bless your little heart"...

9-13-11

Emmy was napping in our room on the floor and I was napping in the bed, and I woke up and came in the living room.  A little while later Emmy woke up and came in the living room  and said "Mama,  I thought you were in bed, but you weren't, and I was wide asleep!".

9/15/11

Emmy was having a hard time going to bed.  She didn’t want to sleep ‘all by herself’.

Mama:  You should enjoy it now, because pretty soon you’ll have to share a room with Maggie and you guys will share a room together for a long, long time.

Emmy:  ...But is she gonna sleep IN my bed?

Mama:  No, she’ll have her own bed.

Emmy:  MY bed?

Mama:  No, we’ll get her her OWN bed.

Emmy:  Will it be next to mine?

Mama:  Not RIGHT next to yours, no.

Emmy:  (really whiny) But I want her to sleep right next to me.  So we can snuggle.

Mama:  Like this?  (We’re sitting up and I wrap my arms around her and hug her and rub on her back for a second)

Emmy:  No.  No rubbing!

9/20/11

Mama: (singing) Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul, with a corncob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal...

Emmy:  Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul with a corncob pipe and a butt and nose....

7/11

We were at a garage sale and I told Emmy she could pick out one of the stuffed animals out of the box for $.25.  She chose this little, white Beanie Baby lamb, but it had dirt smudges all over it. 

Mama:  Let’s pick out a different one.  This one is dirty.

Emmy:  No.  I like it!

Mama: No, honey.  It’s all dirty.  How about this nice pony instead?  It’s not dirty?

Emmy: No!  I want this lamb!

Mama:  No!  Let’s pick out something else.

Emmy: (whiny and on the verge of throwing a fit) NO!  I WANT THIS ONE!!!!

Mama:  Fine.  Here’s your quarter.  Go pay for it.

5 minutes later we get in the car, and I am buckling her in and she’s snuggling up with her new toy. She looks at it affectionately and says “I love my dirty, little lamb”.

9/28/11

I am putting a movie in for Emmy to watch.

Emmy:  Do you know Princess Diarrhea?

Mama:  What?!?!?

Emmy: Princess Diarrhea?

Mama:  (thinking)…Do you mean The Princess Diaries?

Emmy: Yeah, that’s it!

10/25/11

Emmy:  Do you remember that Bugs Bunny ride at Disney World?

Mama:  Oh, the Brer Rabbit one?  The one that’s a water roller coaster?

Emmy:  Yes!  That’s the one we rode on and papa got his vagina all wet!

Mama:  (after calming down from laughing)  Papa doesn’t have a vagina.  Only girls have vaginas, remember?  Boys have penises.

Emmy: Oh yeah.  (pause) We rode that ride and papa got his penis all wet!

10/27/11

Emmy:  (eating her 2nd helping of spaghetti) My belly hurts.

Mama:  Maybe you have to go #2.  That means maybe you have to go poopy.

Emmy:  No!  (laugh)  long pause....Maybe it's #1.

Mama: Do you know what that means?

Emmy:  Yeah.  That means maybe I should stop eating.

  

11/3/11

Emmy: (playing with play-doh) What do you want me to make for you?

Mama:  How about an elephant?

Emmy: No.  I can only make flat things.  Like a town, or a village, or a sun, or turtle.  Something like that.  Flat. 

11/19/11

We often have to pry Maggie’s blankie away from her before sitting down for meals.  When she starts fussing I often say to Chad, “she wants her B-L-A-N…”  We were in the middle of the meal and sitting at our dining room table. 

Maggie:  (fussing)

Emmy:  I think she wants her S-I-M….  (whispers) blankie…

11/20/11

We had roofers show up at our house in the early morning while we were all still in bed.  Emmy and Maggie’s room is directly across the hall from our bedroom and we sleep with the doors open.  Chad and I awoke in the morning to footsteps pounding back and forth across the roof.  It was very loud.  This is what we heard coming from Maggie and Emmy’s room:

Emmy:  (shaky / scared voice throughout entire conversation) What IS that Maggie?

Maggie:  (happy babbles)

Emmy:  Is, is it a MONSTER? Eh…eh…EH! (scared whining)

Maggie:  (happy babbles)

Emmy:  It’s ok, Maggie…MAGGIE!  What IS that????

Maggie:  (happy babbles)

Emmy:  Maggie?  I’m scared.  Are you scared Maggie?  What is it, Mags?  Eh…eh…EH!!!!  I fink it’s a…MONSTER!!!

Maggie:  (happy babbles)

Emmy:  Maggie?  I’m gonna go see mama and papa…ok, Maggie?  I’m gonna go see what that is.  I’ll be right back, Mags.

Maggie:  (whining because Emmy left)

Emmy:  Mama?  Papa?  I’m scared.  There’s something on the roof!!!!  I fink it’s a MONSTER!

Mama:  It’s ok, Emmy.  They are putting a new roof on our house.  They are just walking around on our roof.  It’s ok.  Go tell Maggie.

Emmy:  It’s ok, Mags.  They are just putting a new roof on our house.  You were SO BRAVE, Maggie!  Good job!

11/27/11

Emmy:  I want a snack.

Mama/Papa:  You lost your snack, remember?

Emmy:  But I’m huuuuuungry!

Mama/Papa:  Then you should have made a better decision so you didn’t lose your snack privilege.

Emmy: I want A SNACK!!! 

Mama/Papa:  No.  You are not getting one. 

Emmy: (starting to lose it) I WANT A SNACK!!!

Mama/Papa: No.

Emmy:  (pause) FINE!!  Then I’m gonna EAT MY BOOGERS!!!

12/7/11

Emmy is helping Maggie get her dress up clothes on.  Emmy is trying to help Maggie put the skirt of the outfit on and before she can get it on Maggie takes off and runs away.

Emmy:  Is that REALLY how you're going to ACT, Maggie?

12/25/11

Emmy was playing with all of her Christmas presents, included was a HUGE Cinderella castle, including a carriage, horse, Prince Charming and Cinderella (Emmy’s favorite).  We also had gotten her a Little People Nativity set.  I asked her what her favorite thing she got for Christmas was.  She said “Baby Jesus.  Baby Jesus with the stuff”. 

1/7/12

Emmy is eating a McDonald's french fry.  She puts the end of one fry in her mouth and dangles the rest out and says:

"I'm Oma.  I like to smoke."

1/11/12

I asked Emmy how she liked the crepe filling I made for breakfast this morning.

She said:   "It's brilliant"!

2/4       

Emmy:  Do you know what they say about Wisconsin Dells?

Mama: No, what?

Emmy:  That it’s the Best. Place. Ever!

2/10/12

I was telling Emmy about the tooth fairy.

Emmy:  She's not really real?

Mama:  Yes, she is!

Emmy:  I want to SEE her.

Mama:  You can't.  She won't come if you're awake.

Emmy:  But I want to see her.  I want to see what she looks like and I want to hear what her voice sounds like.

Mama:  Well, you'll have to lose a tooth and pretend to be asleep.

Emmy:  She's not a fairy.  She doesn't even have a castle.

(10 minutes later and still contemplating)

Emmy:  But I REALLY want to SEE the tooth fairy.  I don't BELIEVE that she's real.

2/15/12

Emmy is painting.

Mama:  What do you call your painting?  Most artists name their paintings.

Emmy:  The Colossoffy.

Mama:  The Colossoffy?

Emmy: The Colossoffy of the Indian World

2/15/12

Maggie hit Emmy with a barbie.  Emmy is grounded from toys (including barbies).

Emmy: Ow, Maggie!  That hurt!

Mama:  What did she do?

Emmy:  She hit me with a barbie.  Maggie, I'm ESPECIALLY not allowed to play with that.

Mama: Especially...?

Emmy:  ...not allowed to play with that.  

.

2/24/12

Emmy is going to spend the night at Oma and Opa’s

Emmy:  I have to leave tonight, Maggie.  Will you miss me?

Maggie:  (whiny) yeah.

Emmy:  I have to leave, Maggie.  This is my CHANCE to leave.

Maggie:  blah, whiny, blah

Emmy:  I will miss you too, Maggie.

2/26/12

Emmy:  Maggie just learned a NEW word!

Mama:  What is it?

Emmy:  Boogie!

Mama:  Oh.  Did she have a boogie in her nose or something?

Emmy:  No, like, do you know Logan (their older sister)?

Mama:  …no?  Who’s that?

Emmy:  You KNOW, Logan!

Mama:  Oh, yeah.  I know her.

Emmy:  Well, people CALL her Logan, but her REAL name is Boogie.

3/11/12

Mama:  No, Emmy.  I’m not going to play with you.  You’re being mean.  No one wants to play with you when you’re being mean.  Mama doesn’t want to play with you.  Papa doesn’t want to play with you…

Emmy: (interrupting)…but Maggie will.  She doesn’t know any better.

3/13/12

Emmy:  Did you know that turkey comes from a turkey?

Mama:  I did know that!  Do you know where ham comes from?

Emmy: No.

Mama:  Do you want to take a guess?

Emmy:  From the market?

Mama:  Well, yes. 

3/20/12

Mama:  Do you like your dinner?

Emmy:  It's not to like.  It's to love!

3/23/12

Emmy:  I had a dream about Tangled when she was a little girl.

Mama:  You dreamed in cartoon?

Emmy:  Yep. 

3/26/12

Emmy:  I'm, like, a world famous pooper.  Because I'm famous.  And I'm famous at POOPING!

Mama:  (laughing)

Emmy:  I'm just like a really good pooper.  

Mama:  Yeah.  You really are.

4/9/12

Papa:  Maggie, stay in bed!

Emmy:  (talking to Maggie from her top bunk) You’d better do it, Maggie.  I’ve tested him before.  Stay in bed or you’ll cry SUPER-hard. 

4/11/12

Emmy:  (pretend playing) I’m not going to the ball?  Are you sh!tting me?

4/16/12

Hi Emery,

This is Oma.  Please be really good today because I want you to be able to go swimming (hopefully this evening) after your papa gets back from work.  I want to hear how much fun the pool is.  Also, I want to know what you did today.  I think it is going to be warm there today.

 Love you lots,

 Oma

Emmy's response to Oma's email:

Thank you Oma for sending me a message. I love you. You're the best.  Sometime I will come over to your house, but not on this day. We are on a trip.  We are in a hotel, not in the camper anymore. 

I love you.  There is a swimming pool.  I hope you can be loving, but you can always be sweet.

Done.

4/19/12

Sh-art = sh!tty fart

Emmy is playing with Maggie at the playground.

Emmy:  We just sh-arted.

Mama: What?!?

Emmy:  We both just sh-arted ourselves!

Thanks for the new terminology, Papa.

5/30/12

Rylee (playing a game with Emery): If you could be any age, what age would you be and why?

Emmy: Seven

Rylee:  Seven?  Why?

Emmy (slightly annoyed): Because I want to GROW UP, ok?

6/13/12

Mama:  Make sure you clean that dirty laundry up when you are done with it.

Emmy:  FINE!  (with attitude)

Mama: (silence)

Emmy:  Aren’t you going to say something, Mama?  I just had a dirty attitude.

6/14/12

Emmy is sweeping up the crumbs up off of the floor with her dustpan and broom.

Emmy:  Wanna see how much I got, mama?!?!  I got more than you DREAMED!

6/26/12

It’s 110 degrees in the hot Badlands today.

Emmy:  I just want to go hoooooome, Mama.  It’s so hot I’m melting!

7/8/12

Emmy (talking to Oma about Yellowstone):  It’s a magical place!

7/12/13

Maggie stood up in her stroller

Emmy:  Maggie!  Sit your @ss down!

8/9/12

Emmy:  (playing cards w/ Chadly...and she was winning) This is easier than an elephant eating peanuts!

Chadly:  (Laughing)

Emmy:  I'm really proud of you for trying.

8/10/12

Mama:  Do you want to go to McDonald's playland in the morning?

Emmy:  You'd let me do that?  I've been so mean today.

Mama:  Well, you weren't THAT mean.  You were really good all day, you just started getting in a little trouble tonight when you started getting sleepy, and you started losing things.  I wouldn't be doing a very good job as a mama if I let you get away with acting like that, would I?

Emmy:  No.  I mean, who's the grown up here?

Mama: Me?

Emmy:  That's right, you are.  

8/14/12

Mama:  You need to apologize to Maggie.

Emmy: I’m sorry, Maggie, for not letting you play with my toys.  That wasn’t very nice of me, and I’m really very sorry. 

Mama:  That was a wonderful apology, Emmy.  Good job!

Emmy:  (shrugging her shoulders) That was the best I could come up with.